i feel like rolling over and die..okay or maybe juz roll under my blanket and juz stay there.

owh mann i'm so dramatic but seriously things are hard and the more i try to make it better the worse it gets.i guess maybe im just the worst person on earth right now.feels like i'm hurting people when that is not my intention,feels like i make things worse when im trying to make it ok and it feels like i'm being inconsiderate of other people's feelings when i actually really care for them.which overall i guess makes me an inconsiderate,selfish,self-centered,dramatic,person. i guess the best i can do right know is just lay low since my effort of trying to make things better seems to not work.my fault jugak.because right know i think whats best is to give space and give it time when instead i keep on trying so hard to fix it.owh mann again i can be given the award for worst person and im not being sarcastic..tho im glad i did get to make it to liy's fashion show.beautiful design especially the long dress.so cantik.proud of you babe! : ) sorry friends i balik awal.i juz went to see liy's design je.not in the mood sangat. so once i saw her designs i went back home.congrats liy! in an attempt to not make myself feel so down i've made lists.a to do list and a wish list.

.things to do.
rearrange my room's furniture
reorganize closet
get a new haircut
return books to library
finish reading books on my booklist

*wish list*
buy a plant.daisy?
visit the planetarium
learn techniques to draw/sketch and paint
to get to meet up with t
watch 500 days of summer i heart chick flicks
watch talentime aina says its really good
learn to solve the rubiks cube

PMS can be such a..

eiysh on days of pms-ing it can be such a pain.dah la nk act all moody n all.i myself geram with myself k.and as usual i'll b all emo2 n moody2 with people closest n around me.im sorry people.. jz ignore the moodyness.anyhows on a different topic.2mrw is the last paper.last day of finals this semester.whoah after dat holiday.actually not yet.as usual i'll be helping aqilah out.then holidays.felt like 3rd semester flew by fast.owh well k gtg.2mrw i've got paper and i'm here blogging pulak.til next time.

finals!

wow so last week was the last week for all the classes.so tiring with a bunch of tests and assigments.now its study week and there's still 2 more assigments to do.and finals is next next week.im scared.duh la kan..everyone is scared of finals.next month is liys fashion show.i wanna go.dah la its her final semester n all.owh well.other than that this weekend didnt go to toks house.bummer.tak la dpt spike my little cousins drink.spike it as in put gassy drinks in their glass.coz they're not allowed to drink it.kindda funny that the little one really like those gassy drinks.she cute when shes happy dpt drink it.hahaha.ok i gtg.i've got to do assgments n study.n yet im procrastinating lg..

normalcies..what?

ok i've had a collection of movies in my laptop.hmm well ok a few movies but i cant seem to watch it.cz rupa rupanya my laptop does not hav the program that can play movies.i usually get someone to help me with these computer stuff..silly me dah lama i've been using this laptop i jz realised that i can jz download it from the web.which i jz did jz now.so now i can watch movies on my laptop.yeay! i've also washed n cleaned my car n rearranged all my books and things in the room.i find it that i can think clearly when all my stuff are neatly arranged.a bit mcm monk the eccentric detective.yup..a bit weird.



funny story bout earth hour
yesterday was the day we were all encouraged to swith off all our lights for one hour.i was in on it.i even had candles ready to lit during earth hour.however that night we went out for dinner.so before we went out i told the maid to switch off all the lights from 8.30 - 9.30. i mentiond it to her more than 3 times i think..and while we were having dinner at the restaurant i was secretly wishing that the restaurant wil switch off all their lights too.which they didn't.bummer. hilariously when we got home from dinner the whole house was in darkness.i was happy cos the new maid a bit susah nk paham what we say.so i guess she jz decided to switch off all the lights the whole night.heheheh.when we got home almost 11 mom was so shocked.cz it was so dark.the 1st thing she did was to called out my name.cz it was my idea to ask the maid to swith off all the lights.hey it is fr a good cause..earth hour : )

china,classes n ldk.

ldk on a saturday is just plain boring.having to be in the class for one whole day doing silly activities.maybe if the activities were interesting it wont be so sucky.anyhow sooooo glad its over.yeay! no more ldk.trip to china was ok.i'll put up the pictures if i feel like it.(lama nak tunggu load.)1st time going to china.they sure do eat loads of pork.its like everywhere.can't stand the smell of their food.people there tend to talk really loudly.just below the level of shouting.place overall ok la...byk jinjang stuff.but if you really look you can find some nice stuff.a bit hard to look for.but there are nice things.mostly girlie stuff.the weather was ok.temperature i think was around 20 ish degree.the last 2 days i was there it was i think around 11 or 12 degree.the last few days were kindda cold.the part i couldnt forget was my food poisoning from eating the food over there.the pain was so torturing.so glad i've recovered and i'm well now.so.. i still have another 2 more tests to sit for and i think another 1 more test next week.looks like they will be a few tests next week.owh n presentation jgk.i hope i do good.ok till next time.have a nice weekend~

overwhelm

im up n awake.i knoe its early.monday morning pulak 2 bgn awal.semangat sgt..yea la 2.so not..feel down n draggy.mayb its monday blues.things are so overwhelming lately.if its a test for me which i think it is.i'm trying and doing my best to get through this.



went to watch mooting at UM last friday and there was a moment when it hit me and it made me think can i do that? i honestly freaked out a bit watching them moot in the lecture theater.talked about it later with zella and mashi and they said they were thinking the same thing jgk..mooting made us think and realise that we still have loads to seriously learn about.



as for about family matters.i knoe everyone is doing their best to deal with it,move on and stay strong.insya'Allah everything will b okay n stay ok.i knoe i'm the weak one in the family always have been.i pity abg arif n aqilah always have to b strong for me.my rock n backbone.im learning to b strong for the family.i will for our family's sake.



about frens.

lala-the busy one.its hectic fr u.nk meet up before ur sem starts..nnt lg u busy.

alia- i knoe its tough what ur going thru.but like we talked bout.ada hikmah.plus if stress2 besides zarif i'm here too n we have a goal to reach.

liy- its ur final sem.all out.do ur best.we all knoe u can.DL again babe.make us proud.igt our deal.

tiks- its been long x jumpa n im yet to finish reading da book i borrowed from u.i wanna meet up.miss u.

farah- ur back!about time.i knoe those in germany will miss u.but ktorang kt sini lg miss u.

najlaa -lg la.lama sgt x talk bout all the sillyness n craziness.

nisha -dah mcm off the radar.tiks we soo have to go kidnap her so she'll have no choice.

bonjella-i knoe ur in a tough situation at the moment.i can see it.whatever it is i'm here for u like you are when i need u.



about my kakak
focus n study hard k.


about my dear t
i'm wondering if its me doing things wrong and if so what im doing wrong.i miss so much us talking about anything and everything.us laughing.me being silly with you.i heart you t and i miss you.


about my studies
man ooo man..the goal.yup tho its agk susah i will do my best.


tho its all overwhelming these are the people and things i care the most about and for that
reason i'll bear with it.

im giving in and letting it slide

im just really bummed and i've decided i'm just gonna let it all slide.i dont have the strength for it.its just so tiring to deal with all this.so tired.and actually kindda sick of it and buat sakit hati.do la whatever that makes you happy.whats weird is you can do something like that.even when it hurts another person.i really dont understand how there are people like this in the world.i guess thats life.whatever thats happening right now i guess there is a reason for it...i just believe in the way karma works.i've really tried my very best to deal with it.you are still like that jgk..and worst part is its hurting me.so im giving in.