Reclaim your heart by Yasmin Mogahed- Equipped myself with new tools.

I have heard good things about her, her writings and her talk and when the opportunity came that I could go for her talk within a heartbeat I said YES!! Bless my dear friend Saiha for taking me with her.I am so very glad.

I have not mention about this to anyone, this would be the first time I'm writing about this, letting it out. I have no idea who reads this blog mine. Not that it matters, its more of like place for me to write and express myself. And this I have kept in me. I was so overwhelmed, in a good way.

I have never felt this way, I have gone to religious talks and classes. But somehow someway, reclaim your heart talk by Yasmin Mogahed. Something struck my heart that night. There was a moment I felt my heart soften, and I just felt like crying. I know how stubborn and headstrong I can be. Trust me ask my family and my fiance' they will agree. But that night, I felt something. A sense of realisation that made me think Oh Allah how can I be so blind all this while. I felt a great sense of sadness. At the same time I felt calmness.

SubhanAllah how Allah have given me the opportunity, led and guide me back to the right path at the right moment. Yasmin's talk reminded me on what's my purpose here. Dunya is not forever. Its not everything, its a just a platform to prepare for the hereafter for Jannah. Its sad how as of late I have been viewing it from the wrong perspective. How I have been chasing the wrong things, my proprieties were wrong. The talk made me view life from a different angle. It was very refreshing, rejuvenating to have listened to her talk. So calming.

I equipped myself with these tools from time to time. Because I don't know when I will feel down with all the trials and tribulations of day to day life. True enough a few days after the talk, I was faced with a test. Yet I was too upset and angry to step back and think rationally. Its not easy when people belittle me when I myself have doubts about myself at times. I was very upset, no doubt about it, I even cried, so disturbed and over-thinking it, over-analyzing myself. Still filled with sadness and anger I didnt even pray didnt make dua'. My heart was so hard and clouded by syaitan's whispers and incitement to just stay angry. But the next day as I was flipping through my daily planner, I came across the notes I jot down few days ago during Yasmin's talk. MashaAllah Allah is the greatest, how even when I choosed to cry instead of praying and asking for help yet SubhanAllah Allah showed me the way when I am down and upset Allah led me.

Straight away when I saw what I jot down I was reminded by Yasmin's talk and as I sat quietly I had flashbacks of her talk. And I realised and told myself look there will be people that are going to belittle me, my ambitions, cruel people. But who are they? Allah is the greatest, it is Allah who decides who succeeds. I strive to do my best have the right attitude and I put my trust in Allah.

Note to self:  I have to equip myself with more of such tools in the form of  religious talks and writings