Silver lining

They say those that are about to get married are at times tested. As orang tua-tua melayu say 'nak bina masjid' and there will be hasutan from syaitan. Hence the arguments that we have are often over silly small things that blow out of proportion. And its madness! Syukur Alhamdulilah often the loving patient fiance of mine will remind me not to be to emotional and my sister will remind me nak bina masjid syaitan will hasut. For bulan Ramadhan although the syaitans are tied but then there is my nafsu to get upset and angry. Also this is for preparations in future.Because after all both of us are humans and we have our weaknesses. Hence my  idea came about. (I pray is a brilliant idea )

Often after silly arguments we sit back and realise it was very silly to argue over little things, each time after it both of us will remind each other (most of the time its the loving fiance practicing his leadership skill reminding me) to always remember to pray, remember to make du'a for guidance and blessings from Allah the All Mighty to ease our journey and transition into our new phase of our lives soon to be husband and wife. Amin Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Apart from that, I also had an idea. Ta daa!! Keeping a note book,to write all the happy moments, all the funny things he does, the thoughtful things he does, the random things he says, just all the wonderful memories and good stuff all to be filled in my note book which i have named the silver lining. So the next time, i hope there wont be anymore silly arguments, but we are both humans and there will be times we argue over silly things and provoke each other. And at that moment when i feel like screaming at him or throwing my bag at him or crying, that will be my que to open my silver lining note book and flip through all the happiness. 

Its so common and normal that when people are angry we only zoom in on the negative things and we lose sight of all the good and happy things. Being human, at that time when im very very very upset emotional and angry is the time when I need to remind myself of all the good things, to remind myself not to lose sight of it just because of  a silly argument between us. 

From time to time I will write all the good things he has said and done. And tonight before im off to bed I've got my night lamp on  and I'm snuggled under my blanket, here I go off to write the good stuff :)

The Cure

   

I was in so much pain, my abdominal pain, chest pain and heart pounding so fast. The pain was excruciating I was awoken from my sleep at 4 am by the pain. Finally decided this cant be normal food poisoning, woke mama and abah and was brought to the hospital in the wee hours. 

Lesson learned, if at any time should I ever encounter such horrible food poisoning. If it has exceeded even though am already on medication, after 3 days still having diarrhea, go again to the doctor. Health is very very very important. Dont ever take it lightly. 

Doctor had to take my my blood, urine and feces to do a lab test on it. Worried the virus had infected my liver. Thank god few hours after I was admitted with IV drips and medication injected into me, the pain subsided and was bearable. Even so doc wouldn't let me go home, still wanted to supervise me. Oh god being in the hospital is a depressing feeling. Although I was feeling much better Alhamdulilah to Allah'sWill and the medication. I couldn't wait to go back home. 

What kept me smiling and laughing while i as admitted was my family. My family berkampung in my hospital room. Brought blankies, pillow and snacks. We watched tv just as we would at home. Moo Che Che of course was the one who slept at the hospital to accompany me. We had our sleep over. Watching movie from the laptop laughing and giggling til the nurse came in to check on us why as the patient still awake giggling. 

The wonderful fiance'  although tired and stressed from work came to visit during lunch break and after work. Took my phone forced me to smile to snap a photo. Telling me about his day, making me laugh and giggle. Kept on saying he wished he could squeeze on the hospital bed and snuggle with me. I kept saying soon he can. Amin. 

Finally mama managed to convince the doc to let me go home.  Went back to work as normal and came home to the cutie pie who has been wondering where is her cu (mak su) .  She has been asking her tok mama about her cu. Such a clever little toddler. Snuggled with her to watch twinkle twinkle little star video and that, made my day : )

For few days I was not at home,at the hospital such a somber and depressing feel, nevertheless my family was with me. They brought home to me. And that is part of the cure. My family. Syukur Alhamdulilah. 

Reclaim your heart by Yasmin Mogahed- Equipped myself with new tools.

I have heard good things about her, her writings and her talk and when the opportunity came that I could go for her talk within a heartbeat I said YES!! Bless my dear friend Saiha for taking me with her.I am so very glad.

I have not mention about this to anyone, this would be the first time I'm writing about this, letting it out. I have no idea who reads this blog mine. Not that it matters, its more of like place for me to write and express myself. And this I have kept in me. I was so overwhelmed, in a good way.

I have never felt this way, I have gone to religious talks and classes. But somehow someway, reclaim your heart talk by Yasmin Mogahed. Something struck my heart that night. There was a moment I felt my heart soften, and I just felt like crying. I know how stubborn and headstrong I can be. Trust me ask my family and my fiance' they will agree. But that night, I felt something. A sense of realisation that made me think Oh Allah how can I be so blind all this while. I felt a great sense of sadness. At the same time I felt calmness.

SubhanAllah how Allah have given me the opportunity, led and guide me back to the right path at the right moment. Yasmin's talk reminded me on what's my purpose here. Dunya is not forever. Its not everything, its a just a platform to prepare for the hereafter for Jannah. Its sad how as of late I have been viewing it from the wrong perspective. How I have been chasing the wrong things, my proprieties were wrong. The talk made me view life from a different angle. It was very refreshing, rejuvenating to have listened to her talk. So calming.

I equipped myself with these tools from time to time. Because I don't know when I will feel down with all the trials and tribulations of day to day life. True enough a few days after the talk, I was faced with a test. Yet I was too upset and angry to step back and think rationally. Its not easy when people belittle me when I myself have doubts about myself at times. I was very upset, no doubt about it, I even cried, so disturbed and over-thinking it, over-analyzing myself. Still filled with sadness and anger I didnt even pray didnt make dua'. My heart was so hard and clouded by syaitan's whispers and incitement to just stay angry. But the next day as I was flipping through my daily planner, I came across the notes I jot down few days ago during Yasmin's talk. MashaAllah Allah is the greatest, how even when I choosed to cry instead of praying and asking for help yet SubhanAllah Allah showed me the way when I am down and upset Allah led me.

Straight away when I saw what I jot down I was reminded by Yasmin's talk and as I sat quietly I had flashbacks of her talk. And I realised and told myself look there will be people that are going to belittle me, my ambitions, cruel people. But who are they? Allah is the greatest, it is Allah who decides who succeeds. I strive to do my best have the right attitude and I put my trust in Allah.

Note to self:  I have to equip myself with more of such tools in the form of  religious talks and writings  

Wedding Preparation 1st phase

Wedding preparation phew it sure isn't a walk in the park. I literally have one special file just for wedding stuff, to make sure its all organized. Checklist,receipts, to do list, things to buy, things to rent, list goes on. As of now I have just completed the first phase. Venue, invitation card,door gifts,attire for nikah & reception,  shoes, hair and makeup, attire for my maid of honour and my special girls, and of course kursus kahwin. 

As for my wedding attire I was so very lucky to have been served by a very helpful and experienced lady at the material store. So many material so many shades so overwhelming! Luckily the owner saw we were there doing our on stuff  rummaging hahaha and assigned the senior manager to us. Syukur she was so very helpful. Very patient and very friendly whilst attending to my specific and particular needs from the particular shade to particular material.It took me 3 hours just to decide on the material for solemnization and reception. I had already taken about 2 hours the week before discussing with the design with the designer for the reception attire. Another round later to discuss design for solemnization.

It was a good idea for her to place us in a private room whilst we choose the material and all. With all the other 'brides to be' choosing their material it was like a circus! So very nice of them to provide us with a room with refreshment. They sure do know how to take care of their brides to be! 

Kursus kahwin done! A bit bummed it wasant held at the mosque. Reason being there was technical difficulties. The place the kursus kahwin was held could have been better and more comfortable. Sigh was looking forward to going to the mosque. But all is well, some parts were a bit dry, some parts funny. Done with the two full days of my weekend for that week. Spend it attending kursus kahwin. Phew done with that stage. On to next step for the paperwork which will be in second phase of wedding prep.

Jakarta trip, attended a family friend wedding and at the same time took the opportunity for some more wedding preparations too lalalala. Found and bought pretty pretty stuff at reasonable prices.  Of course it helps a lot that we had family friends there that were very helpful on where to go for the wedding stuff. Hehehe highly recommend it, if whilst planning a wedding 'bride to be' also happened to go to jakarta. Because to go all the way just for wedding preparations and shopping will be costly. But whilst already there, might as well shop for the pretty pretty stuff at reasonable prices.

* Girls dream an daydream about their wedding day and all the wedding preparations. Now that I am  actually preparing for my wedding do I realise, Oh my! Loads of things to do *

Weekend of *wonderfulness*

Adriana Calisa Joifin turns one!!! Geramm with this little cheeky girl. So clever, so cheeky, such a cutie! Time flies by so fast. She's already a year old. Syukur Alhamdulilah she's growing into such a clever girl she picks up words so fast even before turning a year old she's already walking, saying words, with her cheeky antics (she's a dancing toddler). Love love looove this little one. However im still yet to figure out why she refuses to call me maksu and instead calls me wow wow - __- when i know she can pronounce it. See she's too smart this little one bullying her maksu. May Allah bless the lovable Adriana Calisa Joifin with good health, smartness and cleverness and also most importantly  to be a good Muslim Amin.

When two families join together for one purpose, joining of  two souls. Words cant describe how happy I am to be engaged and soon to be married to the wonderful amazing best friend of mine, leader, clown, loving patient partner,companion, tutor,coach,sing-a-long buddy, some times my punching bag ( i've gotta work on that), shopping buddy, my counselor, my shrink, my go to guy, he's my guy soon to be my husband my leader my Imam, Amin. The best way to describe it is in Arabic, Subhanallah Alhamdulilah Syukur  am so very grateful to begin a new chapter together to be halal.

Dinner after work

So last Wednesday went over to Grafa Cafe and Restaurant for dinner. I've been meaning to check this place out. Was considering last year to have boo boo's surprise birthday at Grafa. But with traffic jam and all, change of plans, went somewhere else instead. Only last Wednesday did I get a chance to go to Grafa for dinner and catching up. And only then did  I see what an awesome place it is to hangout and have dinner. Good food, value for money, comfortable, laid back and most importantly it is CLEAN. I'm very very particular about cleanliness especially when it comes to eateries, f&b, cafe and restaurants. 

Will definitely be bringing my family over too. While I was there saw a family having dinner there and I know mama and abah will like this place too. And of course, new spot for brunch with the girls too. Hearty food   while catching up. Perfect combination! 

The pictures of the guys taken were taken at Grafa's front entrance single tables (neat idea! just nice size for having breakfast and coffee while reading  a good book).  And as we were walking out, that was when I saw the sign, there's a new store opening soon with carefully picked vendors selling awesome stuff.Love the concept and looking forward to the opening of the store. My ka che and her friends I know will love it. When she comes back from UK, I so know its the place for her and her friends to hang out,eat and shop. Also, Lovestruck is one of the lucky vendors too. Alhamdulilah so very very very excited!

Cheers!

Singing to myself

Confession,song stuck in my head on my mind,Chairlift's song. I'm sitting quietly in the corner,stuck in a traffic jam, waiting at the traffic light, waiting for the lift, in the lift, while doing work, while walking, while showering. Cant sleep, and guess what song is on my mind? none other than chairlift's!

Happy listening! 

Awesome Possum!

Bye 2012, HELLO 2013! 

Twenty twelve went well. Alhamdulilah. Finished and done with LLB, graduated with a full law degree. Accomplishment I most certainly am so very happy about. 

2013, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. So many plans,hopes and dreams. One too many to write. Some are to be kept secret or only between those who knows and only to be revealed when the time comes. 

Right feet forward keep walking forward : )